Tag: humor
member name: Michael (Jesus Christ is LORD!) C.
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November 06, 2009 09:51 AM EST --
Our army physical-training program requires us to run two miles every other day in platoon formation. Being somewhat older than the other soldiers, I have trouble running faster than a ten-minute mile. . . .
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November 04, 2009 09:26 AM EST --
Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to New Yorkers who blow horns to break up traffic jams.
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October 27, 2009 11:26 PM EDT --
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company.
One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles . . .
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November 05, 2009 10:02 AM EST --
As I remember it, the biggest disappointment about growing up was finding out that adults didn't really have any secret knowledge about what to do in times of trouble. - Beryl Pfizer
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February 14, 2007 10:27 AM EST --
Found this on the web today...
You can buy a Mystery Shirt (Men's $5, Women's $6) + $4 S/H at http://www.uneetee.com/.
The catch?
It's a Mystery! You will not know the color of the shirt, . . .
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February 26, 2008 02:19 PM EST --
I saw this joke over on Boomertowne and HAD to share it here!
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A man who had spent his whole life in the desert visited a friend. He'd never seen a train or the tracks . . .
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May 07, 2007 03:41 PM EDT --
My wife just sent this out a few minutes ago... I have to share...
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Hey there,
I came home today after working at Ladies Workout Express where I do childcare twice . . .
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November 05, 2009 12:25 PM EST --
The judge had not yet put in an appearance in the San Diego traffic court. When the bailiff entered the courtroom, he sensed the nervousness of the traffic offenders awaiting their ordeal.
"Good morning, . . .
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February 09, 2007 12:19 AM EST --
This was forwarded to me by a friend.
I checked this story out for validity. I doubt it is valid, but it sure is funny...
WARNING: Do NOT drink anything while reading this as it may either expell itself . . .
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October 02, 2007 09:13 AM EDT --
The Color Diet
This sounds like a way better diet than Weight Watchers. Think I'm going to give it a try.
Yesterday I went to the doctor for my yearly physical.
My blood . . .
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January 04, 2008 12:18 PM EST --
A couple funnies from my email...
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Sunbathing:
Joan, who was a rather well-proportioned secretary, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. She wore . . .
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October 28, 2009 12:14 AM EDT --
Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth? A. Ruthless.
Q. What do they call pastors in Germany!? A. German Shepherds.
Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible? A. Noah. He was . . .
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March 25, 2007 12:25 AM EDT --
An email forward I got...
Enjoy...
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If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!!!
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes . . .
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February 08, 2007 10:31 AM EST --
My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat.
When I looked at the tire,
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!
Heard your wife left you;
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me. . . .
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February 12, 2007 12:32 PM EST --
"IT'S A GUY THING"
Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected
with it, and you have no chance at all of making it
logical."
"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" . . .
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February 26, 2007 02:09 PM EST --
Words that Really Should Exist from A to Z
Abracadabbler: an amateur magician.
Badaptation: a bad movie version of a good book.
Carbage: the trash found in your automobile.
Dadicated: being the best . . .
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March 22, 2007 11:13 PM EDT --
three funnies for you this evening...
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Breakfast Order:
A resident in a seaside hotel breakfast room called over the head waiter one morning.
"I want two boiled eggs, one of them so . . .
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August 03, 2007 12:45 AM EDT --
This was in a newsletter from my local telephone co-op.
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You Grew Up In Iowa If...
You know what "knee-high by the Fourth of July" means.
You or someone you know was a "Pork Queen" . . .
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September 28, 2007 09:57 AM EDT --
Saw this in my inbox and had to share it... Enjoy!
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GETTING INTO HEAVEN
I was testing the children in my Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting . . .
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October 02, 2007 09:41 AM EDT --
I heard this on the radio this morning from Ken Davis.
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An exasperated mother sent her misbehaving son to his room.
After a while he came out and informed his mother that he thought it over . . .
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