Tag: good clean funnies
member name: Michael C.
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August 03, 2007 12:45 AM EDT --
This was in a newsletter from my local telephone co-op.
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You Grew Up In Iowa If...
You know what "knee-high by the Fourth of July" means.
You or someone you know was a "Pork Queen" . . .
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July 13, 2007 09:37 AM EDT --
First Day of Psychiatry Class:
Young aspiring psychiatrists were attending their first class on emotional extremes."Just to establish some parameters, what is the opposite of joy?"asked the . . .
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September 11, 2007 11:31 AM EDT --
Lost Money
/* Remember September 11, 2001: http://www.gcfl.net/911 and
Heroes: http://www.gcfl.net/911/heroes.php */
The receptionist found some cash in the office, apparently
mislaid by a co-worker. . . .
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March 07, 2007 10:18 AM EST --
Got this in my email today...
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When a mother returned from the grocery store, her small son pulled out the box of animal crackers he had begged for, and then he spread the animal-shaped crackers . . .
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March 14, 2007 10:06 AM EDT --
A policeman arrived at the scene of an accident to find that a car had struck a telephone pole. Searching for witnesses, he discovered a pale, nervous young man in work clothes who claimed he was an eyewitness. . . .
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March 25, 2007 12:25 AM EDT --
An email forward I got...
Enjoy...
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If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!!!
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes . . .
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May 17, 2007 09:19 AM EDT --
In my inbox today...
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10 WAYS THE BIBLE WOULD BE DIFFERENT (If Written By College Students)
10. Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning - cold.
9. The Ten Commandments . . .
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September 03, 2007 11:27 PM EDT --
FROM MY INBOX...
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A good piece of chocolate has about 200 calories. As I enjoy two servings per night, and a few more on weekends, I consume 3,500 calories of chocolate . . .
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September 10, 2007 01:46 PM EDT --
Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck the end of the alley and worked their way to the . . .
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February 08, 2007 10:31 AM EST --
My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat.
When I looked at the tire,
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!
Heard your wife left you;
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me. . . .
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February 12, 2007 12:32 PM EST --
"IT'S A GUY THING"
Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected
with it, and you have no chance at all of making it
logical."
"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" . . .
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February 26, 2007 02:09 PM EST --
Words that Really Should Exist from A to Z
Abracadabbler: an amateur magician.
Badaptation: a bad movie version of a good book.
Carbage: the trash found in your automobile.
Dadicated: being the best . . .
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October 10, 2007 11:32 AM EDT --
Bad Day
A little guy is sitting at the bar just staring at his drink for half an hour when this big trouble-making biker steps next to him, grabs his drink and gulps it down in one swig. The poor little . . .
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November 15, 2007 10:56 AM EST --
I dose of humor from my inbox...
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Caller ID Is a Wonderful Thing
The local paper, which I don't bother to subscribe to since I don't have a bird, calls . . .
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September 19, 2007 02:09 PM EDT --
Dear Tide:
I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all of my married life, as my mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better! . . .
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May 25, 2007 09:28 AM EDT --
In my email today...
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Doctor: "I see you're over a month late for your appointment. Don't you know that nervous disorders require prompt and regular attention? What's . . .
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May 25, 2007 09:37 AM EDT --
How to Photograph a New Puppy
1. Remove film from box and load camera.
2. Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw in trash.
3. Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds from muzzle. . . .
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May 30, 2007 01:04 AM EDT --
From the depths of my hard drive.
Original origins unknown...
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If you're well dressed, she thinks you're a playboy,
If you're not, she thinks you're . . .
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February 27, 2007 04:26 PM EST --
My Governor can beat up your Governor. (bumper sticker)
Minnesota Slogans
1. I came, I thawed, I transferred....
2. Survive Minnesota and the rest of the World is easy.
. . .
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March 13, 2007 10:52 AM EDT --
I think I know people who operate by these rules...
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Rules for City Driving
1. Never, EVER slow down when a light turns yellow. If you're within half a block of a stop light when it turns . . .
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